Approaching Change: Turning 50

In a few weeks, I will officially become "middle-aged," or at least, in my view, I no longer will be "young."

It's all relative, of course. I can't tell you how often people (older than me) who find out I'm turning 50 tell me, "Wow, you're so young. You've got your whole life ahead of you." Yet, surely, my own children look at me turning 50 and think, "Wow, mom is old." Because I am. I remember my own parents turning 50. And I definitely didn't think they were young. Maybe not ancient, but definitely not like the youthful 20-year-old I was.

My goal ♥

Even though I feel young, even though nothing in my mind about me has changed (minus those blasted wrinkles), even though I don't feel different, there's just something about turning 50 that wasn't there for me when I was turning 40. 40 was great. It was freeing, I was happy, probably in the best shape of my life, had my closest friends near me, and I was doing what I loved.

Maybe it's because I have a decade more experience, happiness, sadness, and general life to look at and ponder, but it feels like everything is different only ten years later. 

I'm still feeling free (more than ever now that both of my boys flew the coop), and I'm happy, and I'm still doing what I love, writing and vintage, but my closest friends are not living near me anymore, and I'm not in the best shape of my life.

I just started running again after only a few years off, and wow, if you ever want to feel old, look at your personal best results before you stopped running and compare them to your current ones after you start again. Pure chaos, wonderment, and depression. Sure, I'm being a touch sarcastic, but not really. How could I have become so slow? It wasn't like I stopped going to the gym. What in the world has happened?

Aging, that's what happened. We lose muscle, and we lose it fast. Fighting decay all over and inside my body is what I'm doing these days. I heard a funny social media personality say, "Getting enough protein in my diet is a full-time job!" Truer words have never been spoken. 

Regardless of all the physical changes, the best thing about turning fifty is not caring much anymore about what people think. I've heard this one for years, but it's true. It goes hand in hand with doing what needs to be done before I leave this earth, too. Tomorrow is not promised. Am I doing what I've been called to do? Am I loving and helping those who truly need it? 

I wrote about it in a guest post at No Sidebar, which is a huge minimalism community I'm a part of (and partly why I've been a little absent here.) It encompasses living a minimalist life in our wardrobe, home, activities, and absolutely connects with the slow living lifestyle I've been drawn to over the last decade: slowing down, living with purpose, and connecting with the creative and true side of living that our busy world has forgotten about.

But, now that I'm turning 50, some of the things I strived for in my forties don't pull as much of a draw; I want to do more of what I've been called to do and do them right so that I can give a "job well done" account of my time to God when I leave this earth.

Aging isn't easy, but if I try to do what I need to do - staying healthy, doing things that really matter, and living as simply and slowly as possible - then the next ten years may be the best yet. 

Bring 'em on!